He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Life is so much better after having sex.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
