i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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