How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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