I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
