yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
