Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Two words: nipple clamps
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