i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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