Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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