put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
