Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
