It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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