She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
