he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You smell like stripper and shame
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize