You're a womanizer and a bitch.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
