she looked like the before picture.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
