Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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