I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
