He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize