Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
