You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize