I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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