the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
