Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
