I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
