Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
