So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
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I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
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Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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