Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
my god I love twenty year old dicks
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
