Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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