went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
