how can u be prego again
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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