There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
