he shaved USA in his pubs
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
