Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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