I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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