You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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