i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just found puke in my bra..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i need some magic done to my vagina
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
