I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
