i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
