It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
