That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
