Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
