Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.

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(740): View more from Ohio

I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.

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(217): View more from Illinois

You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.

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