So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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