you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
