My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
