im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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