she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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