Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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