wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
