So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
