Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
