David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
