the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
