omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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