so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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