this will be a night to untag.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You are the jesus of drinking
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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