So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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