Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
