well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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