If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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