please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
