i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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