I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
